These Days

On July 28 we hit the 6 month mark since Quinn left us. The days leading up to that Thursday were really emotional for me. I could cry at the drop of a hat or the slightest mention of anything. Luckily, I was working that day, which served as a good distraction. A couple friends sent me poems or quotes which had me hiding in the bathroom crying for a little bit, but I managed to pull my act together. I am not quite sure what made the 6 month mark so extremely hard for me. The 28^th comes and goes every month but there was something about 6 months that was so hard to swallow. A half of a year has gone by. We should have a happy, healthy, 6 month old little girl. We all know what we have instead. I spoke about this with my friend who lost her little boy last year. She told me 6 months was harder for her than the year mark. I found some comfort in that.

I think one thing that I worry about as time wears on is that people will forget about Quinn. I had a coworker tell me his brother had a stillborn due to trisomy 18 years ago and that when his brother mentioned the name Isabella recently, he said “who?” Thanks, just what every loss parent wants to hear. I actually wished in that moment that I could have seen what my face looked like. I was semi-appalled that someone would say that out loud to me. He quickly followed it with, no one holds it as close to them as the parents. Again, thank you. I am terribly aware of that. What has been nice was having two separate friends ask me for pictures of Quinn. I also went to a friend’s house the other day and Quinn’s prayer card was on her refrigerator. Small things, but so important to me because that is literally all we have. 1 day, technically 4 hours, to create the only memories we will have for a lifetime.

I will leave you with a poem that was sent to me on the 28th, it made me think of all of the little ones who have left us too soon….