Isolated

Lately, Chris and I have been talking about how I have been feeling isolated. Anyone who has suffered a traumatic event can probably speak to feeling periods of isolation. It is easy to feel that way when very few people you know have experienced a similar event. You find that you long for someone to understand all of the emotions and feelings you go through. Yet sometimes, you long for your old self, the person who knew nothing of tragedy and could smile freely without something always hanging in the background.

I have also noticed that I haven’t written anything in weeks. Then the more I thought about it, I haven’t been as physically active in weeks either. Chris and I got Fitbits this winter to help us encourage each other to be more active. I looked at my log and in the last 3 weeks, I’ve really only worn it when I went to work. I’ve been sort of lounging at home, in my own little world. I’ve had very little energy lately. I made it a point to go for a walk this afternoon, get out and get some fresh air. I think I need to be more aware of allowing myself to fall into these lulls. Letting my anxiety or whatever else I’m feeling get the best of me.

This may be short, but I’m writing it as a reminder to myself. Don’t let this get the best of me. Write, exercise, experience life. These are all things Quinn would want me (us) to do.

6 thoughts on “Isolated

  1. The isolation is so real and intense. I felt it a lot at about 6-7 months, and I feel it a lot now… I think people are scared to talk to us until this baby comes. It’s like everyone is holding their breath. And I feel so alone. So nearly a year of isolation almost now… It will be weird for me when I make greater attempts to rejoin society in more normal ways. So many hugs, mama.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The isolation is real, just like Christine said; I know we all feel it. I often tell my Husband that I’ve never felt so surrounded by people, and alone at the same time. I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way. I would love to be able to just give you giant hugs! This is all so unfair, and I hate that we feel “alone” while going through it all. ((hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I too can relate to the isolation (and I also just bought a fitbit, but I can’t tell if it’s making a difference, as I am lying in my bed at this moment). And yes, on the ‘experience life’. But it is so hard to embrace that when life is such a struggle right now. Thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have been thinking of you so much. Your struggle with your doctor and quest for answers is similar to mine. I can only hope you get answers and more compassion from MFM. I know fighting the fight gets exhausting. Just know we are here for you!

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